This is how I see myself and my life.

Let’s started with this: I was born in small town called Lawang. If you are Javanese or understand java dialect, this town means: door.

Cool. Because many things started from the door. The door is the beginning or could the ending transition in a person life.

My friend once said this: ” I am the door. Enter through me!” For me in that last sentence is ME with big capital. Because it shows how big my friend is.

I love a song written about my friend. It goes like this.

What a friend I’ve found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers

Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever

What a hope I’ve found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other

Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever

Why I called Him friend? Because He is not a person to whom I have to be afraid. In the matter fact, “G” is for GREAT. What mean is, He is a great pal, He is a great lover, He is great in the message. So deep, so profound, it echoes for thousand years.

One night I woke up, and walked out of my house to breathe night air. Suddenly, my eyes stucked to a shadow of man, burning-up something. He was holding a diary, and ripped up one page after another. He didn’t burn all of the pages, only certain pages. I walked closer and looked. This man is a tall person, wearing a white robe, and a big scar in His hands. I gasped, “Jesus?” He looked at me, oh my, what is this, my heart pounding hard, but at the same time I felt an overwhelmed peace. My lips glued, but finally I managed to asked, “What are you doing here?” I can’t get my eyes off of him. He smiled at me and said, “I ripped off few pages from your life diary.” Life diary? What is that. He explained, “You see, its filled up with the record of your sins, day-in, day-out.” And brave enough my curiosities continued, “With what?” He didn’t answer right away, he looked down. And I see two poles, stacked to each other. I can’t believe my eyes, it is a wooden cross. It burns, but the cross remains unburned. “I did this because I love you.” I clearly can see tears running on His cheeks. He ripped one last page, threw it in the midst of fire, and I can tell you it was disappear, without any trace. “It is finished,” He says that with His deep, low, calming voice. In no time He is standing right in front of me. He handed me that “life diary” and says, “Look I made everything new, go, back to your bed, and sin no more.” I just can’t stand this, I broke down and cry, and my tears is all over that white and clean pages before me, my life diary is as white as snow. He hugged me and whispered me, “I love you.” And the next moment, I opened my eyes, I was on my bed, laid down, breathless, with teary eyes, I said, “Thank you Jesus, thank you big “G”, thank you for the cross.” It was the greatest feeling I ever have in my entire life.

Do you want that feeling? Do you want to know my big “G”? Email me:

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